High Emotions and Teachable Moments Don't Mix in Sports
In sports, emotions run high. Players get frustrated, excited, and everything in between. As a coach, you want to use those moments to teach valuable lessons, but here’s the problem—high emotions and teachable moments don’t mix. This is valid for ALL players, youth to professional.
Why? Because the brain doesn’t work that way.
When emotions take over, learning takes a backseat. Think about a player who just struck out with the bases loaded or missed a game-winning shot. Their heart is racing, their mind is spinning, and frustration is bubbling up. If you try to correct them right then, your words won’t land. They’re too caught up in what just happened to process what you’re saying.
Timing is everything.
The best time to teach isn’t when emotions are boiling over—it’s when things have cooled down. Let the player take a breath. Give them a moment to collect themselves. Then, when their head is clear, they’ll be more open to feedback and actually absorb what you’re saying.
What should you do instead?
• Pause before coaching. If a player is upset, don’t jump in with advice. Give them space.
• Read their body language. If they’re tense, fuming, or on the verge of tears, it’s not the right time.
• Wait for the right moment. A few minutes later, when they’ve calmed down, approach them with encouragement and constructive feedback.
• Keep your message simple. When you do talk, be clear and to the point. Players don’t need a speech—they need quick, helpful guidance.
Positive Emotions Boost Learning
While high frustration makes it hard to learn, the opposite is also true—positive emotions actually improve learning. When players feel confident, excited, or even just relaxed, their brains are more open to absorbing new information. Studies show that athletes perform better when they associate learning with positive experiences. So as a coach, creating an encouraging environment isn’t just about making players feel good—it actually helps them develop faster.
A Tool to Help Players Process Emotions
Helping athletes manage their emotions is just as important as teaching skills. One great way to do this is through reflection. When players take time to process what happened—both the good and the bad—they gain a better understanding of their emotions and how to improve.
That’s why the Player’s Journal is such a valuable tool. It gives athletes a space to write down their thoughts, reflect on their performance, and develop a stronger mindset. Instead of letting frustration take over, they can learn from each experience and move forward with confidence.
The Power of Emotional Control in Sports
As we know, emotions are a huge part of sports, and learning to manage them is a skill every athlete needs. While it’s normal for players to get frustrated or upset, how they respond in those moments can shape their development. As a coach, you play a big role in helping them navigate these ups and downs.
One of the best ways to teach emotional control is by modeling it yourself. If a player makes a mistake and you immediately react with frustration, they’ll pick up on that energy. But if you stay calm, collected, and focused on the next play, they’ll start to do the same. Players often mirror the emotions of their coach, so your response matters more than you think.
Coaching isn’t just about what you say—it’s about when you say it. If you want players to truly learn, pick your moments wisely. Let emotions settle, then teach. That’s how real growth happens.